$2.99 | Your Movie Sucks by Roger Ebert (Kindle ebook)

Unleash the Wit: The Ultimate Collection of Scathing Film Reviews! Dive into the brilliant, no-holds-barred world of a Pulitzer Prize-winning film critic with this extraordinary collection of his most incisive and brutally honest reviews. From cinematic misfires like Alex & Emma to the dreadful remake of Yours, Mine, and Ours, prepare for a masterclass in critical takedowns that only a legend could deliver. A Glimpse into the Legendary Critique: The “Deuce Bigalow” Showdown! Experience the raw power of his words, exemplified by his legendary 0-star review of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo. This isn’t just a review; it’s a dramatic saga that escalated into a public spat, showcasing the critic’s unwavering commitment to cinematic integrity. “The movie created a spot of controversy in February 2005. According to a story by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times listed this year’s Best Picture nominees and wrote that they were ‘ignored, unloved, and turned down flat by most of the same studios that . . . bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic.'” The drama intensified: “Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: ‘Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind . . . . Maybe you didn’t win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven’t invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who’s Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers . . . .'” The critic’s final, devastating blow: “Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor but lost to Jar-Jar Binks. But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo while passing on the opportunity to participate in Million Dollar Baby, Ray, The Aviator, Sideways, and Finding Neverland. As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.” Why This Collection Belongs On Your Shelf:

• Continuing a Bestselling Legacy: Following in the footsteps of his blockbuster I Hated Hated Hated This Movie, this collection promises even more unforgettable takedowns.
• Uncompromising Honesty: Discover reviews that don’t just tackle movies at the bottom of the barrel, but bravely venture into the cinematic wasteland found underneath the barrel.
• Masterful Film Criticism: Witness the unparalleled wit and wisdom of a critic who truly understood the art of cinema and wasn’t afraid to speak his mind.

For cinephiles and fans of sharp, articulate criticism, this collection is an absolute must-have. Prepare to laugh, wince, and gain a profound appreciation for what truly makes a film great… or spectacularly terrible!